Love.

You and Me.
Typical love story in a class of its own.

My soulmate.-HIM

Pentas:Rahsia

Amazing amazing experience.

An opportunity to write script and direct and act at the same time.
I swear halfway i felt like giving up.
Cause too many responsibilities to bear.
But looking at kakak and how many more she had to handle,
I felt mine was just a minor one.
And i continued the journey.
Bringing Titisan up the ladder.

Went throught countless rehearsals.
Staying back till late night.
Mugging at night writing scripts.
Which seemed endless.

Everyday nearing the Pentas was like exhausting.
With emotions i was coping.
Being the weak character that im supposed to play.
Being pushed. Tortured. And accused.
Was all for the character.

DURING THE DAY ITSELF:
though there were many technical errors.
my kain got stuck with the fake flowers.
me getting in the way of the closed curtains.
but like i told my babies...''THE SHOW MUST GO ON''

DEAREST TITISAN BABIES,
you guys were the reason why i continued.
the determination to showcase your talents.
to play the character.
to wanna do IT.
amazes me.

bak kata sidek,
''KEIKHLASAN''
and thats what we had.
and thats what we did.

thank you to those who made it happen.
who worked their ass off for the show.
thank you for your commitment, determination and strength.

to the directors-kakak, lela, hydil
no matter what happened,
no matter what they say,
you guys did it.
the show did happen.
thank you.
for having faith.
for making it happen.

to sidek, fid, ili, mas
thank you dearest...
for the constant sincere feedbacks and comments.
your words are the most precious thing.
i swear.

kakak,
your strength amazes me.
i love you.
you're no longer my shadow.
but my light.
the guidance to my thoughts.
i love you.
and will always be there to support you.

to all those who came,
thank you for the support...
truly appreciate it...
the flowers that my darlings/sisters gave me-seri,farah,zie,ferooze
the presence of wan's friends
the presence of my close buddies
the presence of 'the family'-fie,baba,mas
and of course MY FAMILY
THEY WHO UNDERSTOOD THE LATE2 NIGHTS OF COMING HOME
THEY WHO NAG NAG NAG BUT STILL PAID FOR THE 6 DOLLARS TO WATCH ME
THEY WHO SUPPORTED ME

love all of you.
thanks for making it happen.

Dear God,
alhamdulillah.
its over.

Somebody tell me...

Things are gonna be okay.
Are they?

I prayed. I hoped. I wished.
I controlled.
But still the tears flowed.

But theyre worth it.
Worth hearing his explainations.
How worried he was.

He made me cry.
But he made me smile.

My soulmate-him.

Dearest sister,
i love you.
no replacement.
just you.

Times

There are times where we break and cry.
There are times when we laugh and fly.
There are times when the world's crashing down.
But there are also times when we own the ground.

Times when we are in control
Of who we are and how we feel
We forget to be compassionate.

Hold on,
hold on to me baby.
Hold me through this rollercoaster ride.

Cos' i dont wanna be alone.

rollercoaster rides. shopping.

yesterday i went to theme park with baby abang and adik! haha...fun ghiler....! went to take the roller coaster rides which will turn 360 degrees...wan was like asking me to open my eyes and let go off my hands...hahah had to sia! then went to the haunted house...supposedly wan is to be behind me but in the end the boys pull him all the way to the front. instead of the gf hugging the bf...the adik2 hugged him! hahahha....then went to a few other rides...fun2!

just now went to peninsula and bugis with sery abang and alyssa. damnnnn fun!!!! whooohooo! haha...i bought skinnies, abang bought his prom stuffs...a blazer...sery bought like 2 bags and a watch...hahah..we laughed2...my leg damn pain cause stupid me decided to wear heels today. ah kau! amik kau....hahahha

oklah, thats for today. tired readi. =P

shit happens.

DAMN EMOTIONAL.

i heard eu the other time.
pretended that i didnt.
it was obvious.
really obvious.
just say it out loud.
i cant force eu to make me your bestfriend.

i changed the featured friends.
but you both made a pact to bring me down from yours.
fine.
now, i have noone in my featured.
i hope all's happy.

im fucking sick.
im puking every single day.
im fucking tired.
you want to meet me, you find me.
if not, dont bother to try hidayah.

Merah, just please beat the hell out of me.
so i kinda forget the emotional pain im in.
torture me.
kill every inch of me with every move eu make.
pretty please.

im sick of living this life of mine.

to whoever abigail is, thanks for that outspoken words of yours. freedom of speech indeed. thank you. hope me feeling this way is making eu jumping for joy. and for your info, i dont give a fuck about you.