Future.

Will you marry me?

My baby has gone for his OBS camp for five days.
Five days without handphone and no means of contacting him.

Cos he had to surrender his phone.

Every minute, i would think of him.

Has he eaten? How is he? Hows his knee? Is he having fun? Is he tired? Whats he doing now? How was his lunch? What did he have for lunch?

(And the qns go on and on...)

And i couldnt do anything about these questions.

All i did was tell myself that hes taken care of down there.

Gosh, the no-communication-thing is really killing me.

I really felt lonely and lost.
He has been my strength and my sense of direction.

Without him, my boat seemed to be just drifting by.

Without no captain of its ship.

Without any map.

Im lost.

Weak.

Scared.

Then came his sms just now at 9.54pm.

"Dear its me ridzwan ur bf here kol me tis no. I pakai my fren hp. Kol u tk dpt"

Can you imagine the euphoria i felt?
I just reached home from the hospital and was about to get some food to eat.

I straight away put my plate down and called him.

And the first thing i said,

"Sayang!!!! Oh god, i cant believe im hearing ur voice. Oh my god. Oh god."

And we tried to catch up with each other within that 10 mins conversation.

I swear hearing his voice felt so good.

When he had to put down the phone cos hes fren gotta use it back, i really didnt wanna let go.

But he said something which reminded me to appreciate the quality and not the quantity. =)

Last night, before he slept, a goodnight msg from him.

"U'l alwaes b on my mind syg"

These words i swear melted me like crazy.

Haha...rarely do i hear these things from him.

He never fails with the "luv u miss u" and he would literally get angry and upset with me if i did not return back his msg/chat/phone convo with "love u miss u too"

But to hear things like i will always be on his mind is something extra sweet from him and oh god, i melted. Hahah...

Susah tau nak dapat wan say sweet2 things...

Kan kan b? Hahah. =P

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I could never imagine myself being with anyone except him.

He completes me in every way.

He makes me fall deeper in love each day.

And he made me realize that love knows no end and boundaries.

I used to think that there is a limit to loving someone.

But he made me see how amazing love is

And how amazing is his love for me.

Till now im amazed at how foolish he is to love someone like me.

I really pray that i will be the one for you in the end.

When i see young couples getting engaged etc, when i see the wedding ceremonies, when i see babies, i envision myself sharing all that with you.

Im glad to be accepted by your family and im glad that mine has so much faith and trust in you.

We have brought our relationship to the next level, my love.

Now its time, to work hard to bring it further up.

I want to spend my whole life with you, start a family with you, experience marriage life with you.

Your love makes me have faith in love.

Life.

Marriage.

(Rarely do i talk about marriage here in my blog. So please do bear with me on this. Haha. I seriously have no idea why im suddenly talking abt all these.)

Take my hand. Walk with me through the deserts, through the stormy seas, through the dirty jungle. Cos i know in the end we will find our heaven. The place where i see myself with you. Us and our future.

I want you to be the only man in my life who loves me and whom i love, endlessly.

Thats you muhammad ridzwan, my endless love. <3