I don't exactly know what happened to me. I just broke down. Literally. I cried and cried. I would like to name it as nervous breakdown? Boleh tak? haha. bak kata asryaf, "EH AKU PEH PASAL AH. BLOG AKU!" bak kata dia. bak kata hydil, "PUNCUK PANGKAL DIRI SENDIRI AH!" palabuu. hahaha! am in love with that word recently. made me miss thesse two bitches- asyraf and dyldo.

anyway, back to the topic.

smlm aku nangis. nangis rabak. i dont know. i just feel like crying it out. and guess what? my baby is beside me, wiping my tears away. dia cakap if it makes you feel good crying which it really did, he said cried it all out. and i did. i lay on his shoulders and first sobbed. then cried. and the tears would not stop flowing. and all he did was stroking my hair and wiping my tears away and made me laugh. haha! that was what i needed. God, hes an angel sent by you issit dear God? To help me with my life, insecurities, weaknesses, ego. Cause dear God, hes the BEST gift ever. thank you, for everything God. thank you.

and to my baby there, hey sayang...at this hour, youre still snoring away on the bed. and im getting ready for my LAST paper. i want to get it over and done with. just like you said. i miss you sayang. and thank you for the shoulder, for the listening ear, for making me laugh, for wiping those tears for me. what would i ever do without you? id rather not live. cause now, my LIFE is you.

to my another b...i was so worried ok sayang. damn worried about you. please be okay sayang...we will be there for you. =) always.

The One.

do you at times wonder why you're standing there?
at that specific position.
in a specific pose.
with a specific facial expression.

and then you realized.
what am i waiting for again?

random.

I know you don't mean to be, mean to me
Cause when you want to you can make me feel like we belong
We Belong...

Lately, you make me feel all I am is a backup plan
I'll say I'm done and then you smile at me and I'll forget
Everything I said...

Ill buy into those eyes and into your lies

You say you'll call, but I know you
You say you're coming home, but I know you
You say you'll call, but I know you won't.

I wish you were where you're supposed to be
Close To me
But here I am just staring at this candle burning out
Still no sound

Footsteps on my stairs
Your voice anywhere

You say you'll call, but I know you won't.

-i know you won't by carrie underwood

kadang-kadang kau rasa kau tau.
kadang-kadang kau rasa kau paham.
kadang-kadang kau rasa kau nak tolong.
kadang-kadang kau rasa kau champion.

tapi selalunyer kau macam paham.

love. imagine loving someone and losing that someone in the end? then why do we fall in love in the first place? because loving someone is the best feeling ever. to love. to have the opportunity to love. to pour out your feelings to someone. to rant it out when you're having a fucked up day. to cry onto someone when you feel like pressure is too much on you. to share your donuts with him. to watch a movie with. to give your whole heart to someone. to wake up and smile knowing that you have someone. is the best feeling ever. to love. to be loved. to know youre loved. to have someone to say "I'm not going anywhere." "Im with you. Always. There, in your heart." to have someone to hold your hands, kiss it then hold it to his heart. to have someone to whisper at his ears "I love you". to even be able to say those three words is magical. poeple often say, why love and fight and argue when you can be single and be carefree? but everyone knows, being in love beats everything. and i mean EVERYTHING.

its time that i appreciate him for loving the stupid foolish stubborn me. baby, guess what? i love you. =)

fucking combo sia!

thats my nick for today. why? lemme tell you why?

i woke up from the wrong side of bed.
didnt eat so was hungry till got migraine and gastric.
was send out of class for what the fucking teacher claimed was late. fuck her.
never meet wan. sick2 also sanggup wanna meet friends. go johore summore.
mother mengamuk cause i use her this top till koyak cause i used a pin to tighthen the baju. what?! she got only one baju in this world issit?!

fucking combo lah siol!

Happy birthday to my baby, Muhammad Ridzwan!!!!!
Officially 22 huh baby? hehe...damn old lah you.

his birthday surprise though a few cock ups did turn out right in the end. the moments i had with him was wonderful. looking at him while talks. When he laughs, it looks as if hes closing his eyes and he sorts of cringes his forehead. Its so cute each time that happens! hehe. I just spend those moments looking at him. I miss him so much. My baby, that baby of mine.

When hes asleep, he looks like an angel. Skin tender and soft to touch. It was a wonderful day for me as i got to see my baby. I hope he had a wonderful day. And im already missing him. That baby of mine.

Dearest boyfriend called me princess today!