Update

Life's been bleak eversince IT happened.
Eversince i started working.
Eversince...i dont know when.

I miss school days. I miss those slacking moments. I miss ITAS. I miss coming to school for the sake of friends ONLY and just hanging out with them the whole day watching movie at the library or sit down at ITAS and talk endlessly. I miss waiting till 6 plus for drama. I miss drama. Titisan and Dramatec. Passion has always been my getaway. Whether i have any problems or going through some rough days, drama has always been my portkey to transfer all that negative energy to the activities. I miss acting.

Eversince IT happened, i feel that i have changed. I have become more temperamental and more protective of the people i love. I dont know how to differentiate the anger from different people. When im angry, i sort of unleash that anger on wan as well. And things between us will swell up and then BOOOOM! And it will end up with my tears. I dont want him to think that i think that things can be settled with just crying. I wanna work it out talk it out without crying. Its just been ups and downs lately. For now, wer just trying to keep it low. Hes tired of arguments. And i cant stand another factor to make me feel like a failure. Ive failed enough in my duties. I dont think i can bear feeling that i have failed as a girlfriend. I love him too much We shall take it slow. Cos i miss you and all the fun times we had that i dont want another arguments to spoil our 'calm' moments now.

Ive been meeting up with wan's sister lately. Kak Nur. A wonderful dearest sister. And im really loving her. And strangely enough im even already treating her and talking to her like shes really an elder sister to me. I feel belonged when im with her. Like she makes me feel that theres another family waiting for me out there. Hopefully, insyallah...Shes really open about herself and that really makes me feel comfortable. Shes just so comforting. I just feel that i have a family again. I really miss that feeling. I miss being the comfort-ed one instead of being the comforting one. Oh well...oh, and we went window shopping for baby's things yesterday. It was sooo fun! She's 6 months preggie and i can barely waittttt! Im gonna pamper that lil girl...hehe.

My darlings, farah seri ooze zie, im missing them today. I realized that they will be there for me when i reach out to them. They have been there for me whenever i needed them for support. Its time to bridge those longg missed moments. I love them. Theyre my first ever clique. And i love them so much. I would like to spend more time with them. I will make time for them. I will.

Kakak and fima and dil. Met up with them recently for fima's open house. Ohhhhh eu have no idea how much ive missed them! They who make me feel ever so real and so lepakk...First and foremost, happy 19th to Fimaaaaaaa!!!! I louuuuuuveeeeee youuuuuuu! Hehe...Glad that things are working out with her and her wan on the other side. Yes, we have the same-name bf. Hehe...Its veryyy nice to see them both in love. Im so happy for you, bitchh..Shes ma bitchhh....kakak, people, please just let her be, can? We who love her will take care of her and make sure she doesnt do anything stupid. Pleaase stop adding to her pain please? She knows what shes doing...Dil and i and fima and many others will protect her. All the redundant people, MOVE! I miss mokkk Dil!

Theres gonna be a short KL trip that the gfs and the bfs are going...Wan's friends...how i wish i could join them. It sounds sooo funn! I miss spending time with those gfs...Imah, wati, siti, luna and not forgetting sis rina...Been awhile i spent time with them. Last time was raya bt without sis rina...I miss that strong woman. Hehe. Ohhhh and today is AFIQ'S 22ND BIRTHDAYYYYY! yeayyyy everybody shout HAPPY BIRTHDAYY! hehehe...

Treasure all the love around you cos you might never know the next second, something might just crop up and you need these love to keep you strong.

Confessions.

Through good and bad times.
Through strong currents and beautiful waves.
Through it all.
Through with you.
Im done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, wer 19 months todayyy! hehe. Me and ma boo. hehe. I love him and till now, this love hasnt decreased one bit. In fact, it blossoms each and every day. Yes, i get angry with him. Yes, i annoy him with my antics and stubborness. But wer never letting each other go. Unless, its time and its fate that wer not meant to be together. But till then, i love him so much and im very happy being with him and nothing or noone has ever made me feel this way. One thing for sure, noone can replace him in my heart.

When the going gets tough

Dear God.

I can barely take this anymore.

Yeay2 hari raya!

Salam Lebaran kepada semuaaaa umat2 Islam.
Maupun yang puasa atau yang tak puasa...confirm enjoy kan raya?
Hehe.
Sempena bulan raya ni kan, dayah/hid/kakak yaya/yaya/pisang/apa-apa lagi lah yang korang panggil saya...

Nak pohon maaf atas segala kesilapan yang dilakukan terhadap eu all semua. Banyak yang telah saya kecilkan hati, mengguriskan hati, melukakan hati, apa-apa lagi yang dikaitkan dengan hati lah yer. Maklumlah, kita ni kadang-kadang tak sadar bila terover, terhyper, teraksyen, terngumpat, terkasar bahasa, terpukul, terpegang (ahem...ahem).

Haha. okay2 serious2.

Seriously, ive done alot of bad things to people. And im really sorry. Mana yang sengaja atau tak disengaja. Alot of things have been going on for me. Im in through a really tough time. And i thank those who has been with me throughout the good and bad times. I really appreciate eur presence which does not necessarily mean physical presence. All of you have been there for me whenever i needed you and how can i ask for more from God when all of you are already a huge blessing for me. You encourage me, motivate me, to be strong. You give me the strength and meanings to life. You add the colours in my darkened days. Thank you, thank you so much. For everything.

Kakak.
Thank you for being there and hear me cry. Thank you for checking on me always and making sure that im alright. Youre the best sister that noone could ever take it from me. I wont let anyone hurt you. Cos youve put so many smiles and comfort in my life that noone is ever gonna take eur smile away. I love you so much. Forgive me for everything that i have done towards you.

Boyfriend, wan.
You have been with me throughout everything. Almost 24 hours. You call, you sms, you chat, you meet. This ramadhan ive been causing so much trouble for you and i have hurt you so much. With my endless rantings and mood swings. But regardless of all that, you are still here with me. Dear, i love you so much. You own my heart. Noone can make me feel the way you do. And there is noone who can make me love the way i love you. You never fail to encourage me and words like "It's gonna be okay..." from you are very generously said now. And guess what? I believe you. Somehow, when it comes from you, i believe it. And no matter what, we will be okay, right dear? From the bottom of my heart, i truly apologize for all the things i said, all the troubles ive made eu go through. I love you, with all my heart.

Farah, sery, aziemah, ferooze, fima, ama.
Thank you for all the smiles you have given me and provided me with. The ones who have been with me through the course of time and no matter whether its rain or shine, we can still find each other. You bunch have provided me with so much warmth and love that friends or rather sisters and 1 brother =) like you are really rare to find. No matter whether its been decades since i called eu guys, i know that when i do, you are willing to hear my cries. Thank you for the times that we have shared. And i love you, all of you. Treasures, you are.

Hydil.
Just like this paragraph on its own. Y0u are a class of your own. Someone special. Aku anggap kau macam brother aku sendiri. I can hug you. Boleh kurang ajar dengan kau. Boleh panggil kau gemuk. Boleh punch kau. With knowing that no matter what, i know eu love me. HAHAHAHA. ok bye. haha. okay entahlah bila part kau jer kan aku takleh ah serious2. bila teringat muka kau...tak boleh ah. sungguh tak boleh. haha. tapi yang aku tau, aku sayang kau. banyak2. sebab there are alot of meaningful things ive learnt from you. and like kakak, i dont like seeing or hearing eu get hurt. okay bontot? dont worry, kau sekarang kan fofular...sampai ada orang call ajer tak call aku balek. bachen! hehe. tapi serious2, i treasure this friendship i have with you. walaupun kita tak kenal lama, tapi you have placed eurself in a huge part of my life. =) cheers!

wati. imah. kak rina. siti.
I call them the girlfriends of the boyfriends. hehe. And these girls here have been there for me too. When i have problems, they are willing to hear me out. This new found friendship i have with them is really really an honour. I learnt alot from them. We share alot of our experiences together. Thank you so much for everything. Specially to wati, ive hurt you with my words the other day and im really sorry. Let bygones be bygones. Cos regardless of anything, i do and will still love you. Now and forever.

MAG family and Dramatec famm.
You are the heartbeat of my life. My passion.

Wan's friends.
Thank you for all the lepaking sessions and treating me like eur own. Thank you for layaning me on MSN and to those who have shared their problems with me, i thank you for the trust and faith. Korang dah macam brothers aku sendiri. And yes, whenever dah lama tak hangout kan, i really miss eu guys. hehe.

All of my friends.
You are treasured and i love you all. Will always be remembered and all of you have in eur own ways made an impact in my life. Thank you for even being my friend.

God.
I could never ask for more when i see all the love around me. Thank you for the strength euve given me all these while and all eur blessings. Allahu akbar.

Salam aidilfitri kepada semua umat2 Islam....