bad day....

i had a fun day today...had titisan just now...we danced...moved...grooved...and acted...hhahha...fie....ur characterisation part was awesome...tho i WAS distracted by the farting noises and all sorts....hhhaha...anas nyerr kejer uh nie!!!

but i guess our play just now was the best so far..haha showed to HIS face that we are far off better....oh my god...cnt believe that he actually didnt want me n fie just cuz we outshine others...wth sakz!

oh wells...hahah a new way to spell mentel..MENTAL! hahha.....went to eat after that...n oh gossiped...alot!

yesterday, i had an emotional breakdown...like totally....i couldn't stand it any longer...im insecure...im lonely..i feel empty...i dont feel loved..i feel as if ive been neglected...i dun get attention from my mum..mum, i miss those times....i love you so much that i am hurting this much...if you could only see what i am going through. how i yearned your attention. how i yearned your touch. your praise. your words of encouragement...am i demanding alot? am i asking for something that is not possible? unattainable? someone tell me what i am suppose to do?

fie...thanks for yesterday...i cried...and you cried with me...you are the best sister that i ever have....you are the only one who understands me..i really love you....i really have nothing to say except that you are the best..the one closest to my heart...thanks...i really appreciate it...you are my idol..my motivation...my evrything...my sister...

yesteday had drama...discussed about magus luna...i...oh well...genie..make sure you will make this play alive...thanks nad for the audition and commenting on d script..i really appreciate it...thank you soo much...

to adeen...why do you have to do this to me? you know me too well. you know that i do not like her. cuz she always hurt you. but you are that blind cuz u only see her and noone else...thanks for hurting me again...thanks for going back on your words...said yu wanna leave her...and d next thing when she came back begging for your forgiveness, you just melt. where were your promises? where were your dreams to get over her? why do i always have to get involved with a guy who doesnt seem to appreciate me? do you even care about me adeen? do you even mean it when you sae you love me? do you mean it when you say you wanna leave her? i need answers from you! this is killing me adeen! have yu ever spare a thought for me? you are damn selfish and self-centred. but why? why can't i leave you? why cant i hate you? why cnt i just forget you? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU....soo much..nahh too much...that i cnt take this nemore...its gna break me soon...tell me what i should do...

life has been an emotional rollercoaster ride for me these days...i cnt handle it sometimes...but i will stay strong for others...for those who still needs me...

"I Won't See You Tonight Part 1"

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight
Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and loved

Building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me,
You're not the one to place the blame
As bottles call my name I won't see you tonight
Sorrow sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around meI cared for and most of all I loved
But I can't see myself that way
Please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight


So far away, I'm gone.
Please don't follow me tonight
And while I'm gone everything will be alright
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight

till then, signin out,
relinquish my love for you